Miss World Canada is next month. Nope, it’s in a FEW WEEKS…aaaaaahhh.

Are you excited?
I’m so glad you are excited. I will be excited on the day I walk into the hotel, to check in as one of the Miss World Canada contestants. Yes, you read right, I am not at this very moment, excited. Why? Well, I have so many things I need to do. Don’t get me wrong, I am very excited about the fact that I am in Miss World Canada. I am one of those girls who grew up watching Miss World on television, almost every year. Right after, I would run for my mother’s and/or sister’s heels and strut across the living room, or imagine myself being on that very stage one day. Ultimately, I was trying to embody that confidence from an early age and adopt the mindset of having purposeful beauty.

 

Confident & model-minded (age: 10)

 

Speaking of which, I have decided that my beauty with a purpose, has to be minimized for the MWC competition. Why do I say minimized? This is because my Beauty with a Purpose goal was to provide a bridge to the homeless and hunger problem in my area community. In doing so I wanted to start by going into the community and providing an instant but temporary solution of a meal but more importantly communicating and inquiring who these people are? Asking how did they reach this position? What would they need now and in the future to change their situation? Then documenting their information to then provide them with the already available solution or to build/create one. Ultimately following up and being an active form of solution to their situation. However, I am only one person and for such a project, it requires a team, time and a community that is inspired to help. If there’s anyone who thinks that they would love to join this team or assist in some way. You can reach me at MissMississaugaDistWorld2018@madchilddennis.com.

My beauty with a purpose is a fraction of the above. One of the problems homeless people may face or the reason for their state is mental illness, or poor mental health manaement. My beauty with a purpose is to help raise funds for an organization that provides assistance to youth/young adults experiencing mental illness. You see for me to explain the impact my beauty with a purpose will provide I have to use my own experience to explain. So sit back relax, because you have a little more reading to go through. But, I will make it a little easier for you (point form):

 

Let’s start with my undeniable negative view of my reality. Why negative? When people suffer from mental illness or a poor mental health in their life, the negative things seem to take the forefront more than ever, well for me at least.

 

 

Let’s begin with my Reality:

Goals:

  • I may have chosen a career path or dream I may never achieve

Work:

  • I do small jobs that pay far less than I put in or simply do not pay at all. Either in the name of assisting another or trying to change my situation/pay a bill.
  • I cannot find a job or if I do, it requires me to work on Friday nights/Saturday Days (Sabbaths: weekly holy day to abstain from work. Observed by Seventh-Day Adventist: which I am), so I cannot take those jobs.

Career:

  • Attend far more auditions, than shoots; that ultimately cost in travel expense.
  • Most shoots I could receive or requests me were done on Sabbaths (Friday nights/Saturday Days)

Finances:

  • Due to the poor decisions made on my part and the determination strive to take opportunities I cannot afford. I have a lot of debt that sometimes leave me financially paralyzed.
  • I am nowhere financially able to provide for emergencies if or when they arrive.

 

These negative views result in:

Stress/Anxiety:

  • Caused by the weight of expectation, judgment and my own plans that fail.
  • I sometimes push myself beyond my capability to try and achieve; sometimes done in an unhealthy way.

Frozen:

  • May have happened more than I realize. Times, where I sit/stand/lie frozen in a situation unable to move because of thoughts or the reality of that present struggle or a trigger that puts me in this moment.
    • One most obvious incident was one night late returning from a seminar to the apartment I stay at and was locked out as I didn’t have a key as yet. I sat there, at the door, sleepy, tired and lost in thought for hours because of the situation. I was so convinced it was all my fault and it left me frozen. 3 hours later in the early hours of the morning, I texted a friend who kindly assisted me. It was when the friend asked why I didn’t ask earlier, made me realize I froze and was just paralyzed by my thoughts of it’s all my fault, etc.

Suicide/suicidal thoughts:

  • Some time ago I had thought, for a while and far longer than I liked, that being dead seemed way easier and more attractive than living. (morbid but true)
    • What got me through this was God and something I heard, that may be true but motivated me, “if I killed myself it is a sin; murder.” Which led me to the thought that if I am dead I cannot ask for forgiveness and I would lose salvation, which I valued more than this life. Strange, but it worked for me alongside the fact that God has a plan for me, that is why I’m still here.

A dark night filled with paralyzing thoughts, where I felt like I couldn’t anything but speak. (No I never post the video; cannot be found anywhere.)

However, in my life I have the following that assists me through it all:

Friends:

  • Having friends who make you feel valued and not a burden
  • Go out of their way to assist you whatever way they can, when they can (even if they are sick and it’s 3 am to pick you up. Or shift their pocket to help yours)

Family:

  • Having a family that loves me and supports me
  • Having a sister who helps me see your own light or growth in when I’m in this dark place

God (there’s a lot of things but I’ll keep it short and give a few):

  • Seeing & remembering me what he did for me in the past and knowing he would do the same and greater.
  • Providing hope when there is none
  • Provides me with the vision of what he has planned for me, as a motivator in hard times.
  • Someone I can talk to through it all, even with things I cannot say.
  • Knowing he is always there…

 

The positives that get overlooked in these moments or period of my life:

Growth:

  • I have grown in my view on life, finances or personality
  • I have developed a sense of understanding the need to be patient and the reality that life does not provide instant growth, reward or gratification. Especially for things that are truly worth it.
  • With every audition, I learn something about myself or what I can improve on

Love:

  • I am loved; by
    • God
    • Family & Friends

Positivity/appreciation:

  • A view I take with almost every audition request is that it shows the potential of my capabilities and God could change my life instantly but is telling me to wait.
  • Enjoying each moment of joy and laughter as they come.
  • I enjoy the little things. Even the small moments I get to play a character in an audition, even if I never get to play it again.
  • Focus on the small steps and the things I’ve achieved with the little I have and continue to dream of the future I plan to create


My first shoot outside of background/extras work (2016) 

Inspiration:

  • There are people around me that see my position and are motivated by my drive, motivation, and determination to succeed.
  • Sometimes these struggles aren’t for me but to help another along their journey who needs to see that it’s possible. This motivates me forward.

 

Many of these experiences I had in the past two years, two months, two weeks or last two days. However, I am here fighting and pushing through life. The thing is, there are many who are in their teens, at an older, younger, at different stages or age in their life suffering, silently, in a way that prevents them from succeeding in school, life or just doing basic functions. I have seen myself breakdown, frozen or on the brink of giving up but because of the support system I have around me, I am able to stand tall.

Understanding Mental Health (click to watch video)

The thing is, I know there are many who don’t have a fraction of that or may need for more than what I needed. Which is what Stella’s Place provides. They provide the support, professionals and resources needed to help Youths and Young Adults improve their mental health. My choir, New Genesis Gospel Chorale (NGGC), will be giving a portion of the proceeds from our #BringBackTheChoir2.0 Concert to Stella’s Place. Our goal is to bring more awareness to mental health and that it should be spoken more in our families and our community. It will be held in Mississauga on Aug 11 and tickets cost only $10. Our goal is to fundraise through donations or ticket purchases that can be made at http://nggc.eventbrite.com/?aff=danielle

NGGC first concert back in February 2018

 

When NGGC chose this organization to fundraise and I found out what their goal was, it touched me deeply. It made me more aware of my own struggles and how they impact me and my life. It also made me aware of how blessed I am but more importantly that many do not have these blessings. Through my experience I understand, and through my solution, I see the need to share my blessings and to help provide this kind of care to those who need it.

 

Written by: Danielle Tagged with:, , , , , ,
Posted On: Categories:Danielle, Miss World Canada

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